I Made it To Uni

Last year of school! Preparation for the real world! Becoming an adult! ATAR scores are on their way! Such an overwhelming period! 

Seven years ago, I was preparing for Year 12 and we have to choose our subjects for the preparation for uni. Some people prefer doing trade work after finishing school so they can just proceed with practical subjects. It is my choice to attend university I have selected subjects that simply compliments my desired course. 

I have chosen subjects that compliments the area of Commerce and one of them is the law subject called 'Legal Studies.' It is my first time doing the unit and honestly, I have learned a lot about the law systems of some countries.

In Australia, English and Maths are always compulsory subjects and everyone has to take them. Depending on the school, each has different levels for some subjects and/or units that they offer. I have been residing in Australia for about four years since I was in Year 12 and yet, I am still recovering from culture shock and getting the hang of 'Aussie English.' Sometimes, students got the exception of withdrawing from the Maths subject depending on their performances in other subjects. However, the English unit is always a staple if you decided to pursue tertiary education at uni. 

Unfortunately in my case, there is no option for me to do an easier English unit that suits students whose English is not their native language. It hurts to feel that my school does not have diverse choices regarding its units. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with my school and in fact, teachers and counselors have helped me to be the best version of myself. Unfortunately, it wasn't as diverse as it is now than before. Therefore, making friends is a struggle, and most of the time, you will either see me just hanging around with a few people or sitting in the library. 

Well, let's get back to how I did make it to uni after a few years after finishing my 13 years of schooling. 

Several months before our graduation, my Year 12 English teacher told me that I do not have what it takes for pursuing a study at a university level. Well, I do understand her point though, because the university is always involved with essays, writings and especially understanding the depths of each unit that you have selected. However, I always knew that she can express her opinion in a non-judging matter. Instead, she can say, 'you're not just ready to get into uni yet' rather than straightaway saying that 'uni is not for you.' I understand that we can't control everyone and each of us is entitled to have our own opinions. 

In fact, I was actually proud of myself that I didn't let her opinion stress me. 

We have our graduation ceremony and everyone is glammed and suited up. A few days passed by, and we have our ATAR scores mailed to our homes. Sadly, my ATAR score did not reach the mark that is required to pursue my degree in Commerce. 

My score makes me feel less around my peers, unfortunately. It's not a form of jealousy of course and I am very happy that they have something to goal in life. No offense, but all of them going to uni is causing me a lot of sympathy for myself. It makes me ask God if I am a 'vulnerable person.' 

I did some trade courses too and I failed some of them. The feelings made me even worse and my thoughts are belittling me. 

My performances made myself to be aloof from my peers because I'm not stooping at their 'level' and they even left me out anyways. 

For another time, I decided to take another course from a trade school and God is so good that He has given me these qualifications and skills that I could use through in my future. 

However, God did not just leave me falling into the midst of streaming fire instead He gave me the chance to create a bridge on my way to pursuing a degree-level qualification. There is a program held by a university nearby town where you can finish a diploma course related to your desired course. This diploma qualification will also qualify you for the 2nd year of your chosen degree. 

With the grace of God and my hard work together, I made it to my 2nd year and I only have 9 out of 24 units to complete before I receive my award!

However, because of my mental illnesses and rough situations such as the disapproval from the former dance studio owner and rejection from a dance institution, I have to take breaks. On the other hand, God is very generous that He never neglected me and gave me the qualifications that I need to start my desires and to prove that I am called to do my passions.

I have re-enrolled again to finish what I have started with a new chapter and the best version of myself! It makes me look forward to what God has already planned for me. I entrust Him that I will fall into good hands and all of my hard work will reap its sows. 

Now that He has proven that my passions are what is written for me, therefore I am ready to tackle finishing this journey of mine. 

I really hope that this journey will inspire you to not give up on something that you have been working for! 

See ya! 💚💚